Who Gets a Seat at the "Planning Table?"
Phil Cubeta, who publishes a blog called "Gift Hub" had a post recently in which he discussed who ought o be involved, or "have a seat at the table," when a family constructs what Phil calls the "legacy plan," what some might more prosaically call a wealth transfer plan. Phil argues, very persuasively, I think, that grown children, typically the natural heirs of the family's planned wealth disposition, should be included in these discussions, but for a variety of reasons seldom are. As Phil states:
what a difference for the better it could make to include them before the plans are drawn. Children who are included will not "misread" the final documents as a critique of them. ("Daddy rules me from the grave through my trust officer because Daddy never loved me, never trusted me, and hated my boyfriend. He called my boyfriend a 'predator.' Why did Daddy do this to me? How did I deserve this? No one will ever love me for myself, only for my money. My peers just want to get a loan. No one can understand why I never had a job. Why should I work? My trust gives me more than I could ever make. I have done nothing all my life. I am a failure!")
In my view Phil is absolutely right. Estate planning is a family affair. I don't mean to say that your children need to know every jot and tittle, every last minute, confidential detail of the family finances (although they will learn them eventually, inevitably). But so many potential problems can be avoided if you share information,and yourplans, and the reasons for them, with your family as you formulate them.
